When Life Hands You Lemons

Okay, a big part of my story includes a lot of illness... As I go through this blog, you will learn more about all of that... this day is our first taste of all the tests life throws at you.

In September of 2006 I went to the doctor because I was having weird visions in my peripheral vision - called "floaters". At times I could feel them coming on, other times it would just happen and I would get dark spots that I couldn't even see through. I was also having some weird sensations in my right leg & foot, inclduing numbness. This worried me because, well, it's just not normal!

So we get the MRI done... my first ever (not my last unfortunately) and my doctor calls me in once she has the results. She says that there are a couple of white spots on my brain that are similiar to what they see in MS patients. MS! This word is a very bad wrd in my family. My aunt has MS. She is in her 40's and wheel chair bound. She also has had to move to a nursing home... Needless to say, I lost my damn mind. Brendan, being the incredible man he is, knew that these results would freak me out, so he showed up at the doctors office to console me. I immediatley thought of our life in 10, 20 years... me wheel chair bound, needing constant help... having to have a damn cathiter placed because I can't control my body any longer. I just couldn'y bear the thought of Brendan throwing his life away like that. I called off the engagement.

After I calmed down some... he looked my straight in the eyes and said "We are in this together. No matter what happens. I am not leaving your side, ever." Well hell... how do you say No to THAT? I have me one hell of a man.

Side note: the visions were diagnosed as occular migraines and are now pretty much under control. In 2008 I had another MRI of the head and spine and more white spots appeared. While Dr. Williams does not think it is MS, I still have the same symptoms in my right leg, but they have not gotten any worse. Because of my current medication situation, we could not do the lumbar puncture, which is the only TRUE way to tell if it is in fact MS. (heavy sigh)